Day 32: The Breakup

NH – you’ve been sick quite a lot lately.

Me – yeah. What can I say, I’m a sickly person.


So let me tell you what’s happening when your emotions go on overdrive for about 3 weeks: “Acute emotional stress, positive or negative, can cause the left ventricle of the heart to be ‘stunned’ or paralysed, causing heart attack-like symptoms including strong chest, arm or shoulder pains, shortness of breath, dizziness, loss of consciousness, nausea and vomiting…. heartbreak can lead to appetite changes, lack of motivation, weight loss or weight gain, overeating, headaches, stomach pain, and a general sense of being unwell…might agitate your body’s immune system, leading to cell-damaging inflammation.”

So needless to say, the regularity with which I am visiting a doctor (Dentist, Gastroenterologist, Orthopaedic, Physiotherapist, and General Practitioner) went up since my breakup. This man really did a number on me.

To add to that – stress, job, studies, uncertainties. Sigh. It’s not easy to be brave. At least I am living my life and not backing down from any fight. Any kind of fight. That is good.

Come to think of it, I deserve way better. I deserve someone who isn’t afraid to show affection, attention, or to show any kind of emotion. I deserve a well paid job matching the work I produce and my education level. I deserve trust, cause I work hard to earn it and keep it. I deserve every bit of happiness and good health. We all deserve that… don’t we? Then what’s stopping us? And the truth I realised today is this – us. Our own fear. Our own projection of what might happen if we move out of our comfort zones. So I have made a few resolutions. Let’s see how that goes.

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