Day 149: Know your enemy – #DogWhistling #Narcissists

“Dog whistling is a gaslighting abuse technique where an abuser can cause suffering to another without others being aware of what is occurring. When the abused tries to speak up against it – it is dismissed by others as they are not being hurt by the action.” One of the major dog-whistle tactics that some […]

Day 117: Sisyphean task

I have been travelling and living alone, away from my parents since I came of age. There were many Bengali men and women before I, they did the same, one of them being Gayatri Chakraborty-Spivak. I prefer thinking of us as the free spirited lot – in a never ending quest for knowledge and education. […]

Box full of bags: The Love Diary

“I forgive those who hurt me in the past and peacefully detach from them.” That has been one of my major affirmations for a while now. It allowed me to remain objective while facing random acts of symbolic violence from those I believed to be trust worthy. It’s an affirmation that helps one move past […]

Day 41: The Shit-Show – Single Woman’s Diary

It was really lovely what V said last night: “get them to do a blood test on your 3rd date”! After I told her about how “helicobacter pylori” spreads! And Daniel: “wow you got lucky. You dodged a bullet!” Tinder dates. What can I say? What can I say. You think as a woman abiding […]

Day 30: The Breakup

To be honest… The “21 day rule” holds true. I did not put pressure on myself to “feel better” – I gave myself time and permission to grieve. Of course I learnt too late that my ex relationship was one sided, and therefore the pain was perhaps greater with the realisation. Particularly cause he integrated […]

Day 18: Resistance – The Breakup

When I look back at these 18 days, I have noticed a pattern amidst support and resistance. Supporters have been downright kind and are empathetic to the situation I have been through, or silent readers who wrote to me in person with love and encouragement. While resistance came from those who show some/same amount of […]

Day 17: He’s not that… – The Breakup

Nostalgia is a liar. But conscious reflection – now we’re talking! When I look back to two bad relationships that I had (S & J), (- oh don’t get me wrong, I’ve had exactly 7 short/long term relationships altogether, without counting a bit of hanky-panky here and there, – I’m 30-something and I have remained […]

Day 15 (Part 2) : 17, Simon Says… – The Breakup

This afternoon I received a message that my friend passed away. 17. That’s what I used to call him. He was the most fascinating creature I have known. We always thought he was way cooler than anyone of us high-school kids, cause he would just take off and do some monk-stuff in seclusion. He would […]

Day 14: Thoughts – The Breakup

To be honest, there’s something that stuck with me from the first evening of my breakup when Daniel was holding me while I broke down crying. Daniel: It went from a high level of care to nothing… so it hurts. This says more about Stéphane though, you went through a divorce with Stéphane without breaking […]