Mommy Diaries: #UnpopularOpinion

I have noticed this annoying trend or rather herd behaviour these days – of continually pin pointing blame and prejudice.

With Elizabeth II’s death it was about how evil the monarchy is (without considering time-place aspect of being humane), and now about mens toilets not having baby changing stations. And so loud are the Americans (I don’t care about sitting with a shade card here – when I say Americans I mean all of you – the whole lot of you irrespective of your race, colour, gender, affinity, nationality – living in North American Continent) that sometimes they culturally override the rest of the world. And people who are easily influenced start believing that if it happens in America it happens at home too! I’m not negating anyones bad experience. I am simply putting American-sense-of-entitlement under spotlight! Cause people who wish to manipulate – get bold without looking at context and history – just cause an American got some feathers ruffled!

I wonder how many Americans with Black-Slave related lineage as well as those in Africa complaining about foreign rulers invading their lands and ruling over it (again not negating that reality) – would actually apologise to the bunch of South Asian Indians that their ancestors conquered and ruled upon? I have to mention South Asian cause if you start googling about that fact you’ll be taken to American Indians! Truly when Americans say the world is Eurocentric they perhaps have a little bit of a tunnel vision? From where I stand the world is Americacentric, where they have globalised boisterous behaviour!

And please don’t tell me this is hating America and get all egotistic as well as patriotic about it – just to justify your individual loud-mouth!

As for the ones on the darker spectrum… Hold your horses my friends with African lineage, – if you think this is cow-dung and whataboutism, then go read-up about the most celebrated of the powerful Ethiopian leaders in India called Malik Ambar (1548-1626). His mausoleum still exists in Khuldabad, near Aurangabad district in western India.

Of course sympathisers would spin the story saying: Oh… “main African figures of the past have not been forgotten but their ethnicity has been erased…people who have heard of Malik Ambar, for example, generally do not know he was Ethiopian. Does it mean that these mens origin was so irrelevant that it was useless to mention it, or is this historical erasure the product of a conscious denial of the African contribution?”

Let me just point out what colonialism by definition is… “Colonialism is a practice or policy of control by one people or power over other people or areas, often by establishing colonies and generally with the aim of economic dominance. In the process of colonisation, colonisers may impose their religion, language, economics, and other cultural practices.”

Let’s just put it this way – there was no historical erasure here and no product of a conscious denial of the African “contribution”, rather it was extremely well colonised – I would even argue that Africans were so successful at colonising Indian subcontinent that they became victims of their own success and blended-in! They were so successful at bringing their own culture and traditions in that there’s an actual historical erasure of culture and muddling of traditions that took place as India and its Indians moved away from a more gender equal society. Indians were heavily colonised by not just the white side of colour spectrum but also the black side. But no one talks about it as loudly as Americans with African lineage would scream wolf!

My suggestion is this – to avoid blame games and my race is more a victim than yours…. Maybe we should focus on driving more positive change? Less shouting hate and prejudice and wishing a dying person excruciating death (I still can’t believe Uju Anya, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University would say something like that) for what her ancestors did and more focusing on the fact that we have started to outgrow a generation where colour and gender was the main cause of discrimination. I know decolonisation of our own thoughts is a rather tedious process – try it nonetheless?

Just as it is relevant to think that mothers are no more primary care givers. And yes, though in America and countries heavily Americanised… mens toilets don’t have changing stations for babies – I would add that I am glad to see that in the restaurant Wilder Mann in Sursee (Switzerland – Oh pardon me for being so Eurocentric), the baby diaper changing station was in the mens room. Not in the womens. And during Zentralfest, my boy’s diapers were changed by his dad and not I. At home we both share the chore and to me it was not even a matter of question that he would take the task over as we are outside. It came naturally till (again) some prejudice spewing attention seeker brought out how the norm of baby changing facilities in women’s wash rooms is not giving him the chance to help change diapers in public.

I truly hope he takes over the job at home!

Let’s just take a second and remember that these days changing rooms for babies is not designed to doubt men of their responsibilities nor rob them of a chance to bond with their babies – a man can do that job quietly at home too, unless you are seeking recognition for something women do every day without expecting glory or a loud bravo from a standing crowd! These changing stations were constructed at a time where mothers, were in fact, primary care givers!

Perspective. Placement. Context. Don’t just scream wolf!

Times are changing and changes come at a cost to businesses, and just maybe we need to be patient as much as see context, relevance and seek compromise.

Like someone said on internet: Instead of promoting ‘hate’ let’s promote positive change and talk about what needs to be done to achieve the desired change.

P.s. if you enjoy my content, gkeep it fuelled, by buying me a coffee, I’ll remember you while having a much needed

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