Have I ever told you about unsolicited advice? You may ask what is Unsolicited Advice? Unsolicited advice is the manner in which an individual gives information, suggestions, or offers help that is usually unwanted and can be quite irritating to the person on the receiving end to have to hear what the “well-intentioned” individual giving these advices have to say when it wasn’t asked for in the first place. Well I for one won’t put my nose into another person’s business unless we have had a long discussion about it together and I was asked for my opinion in the first place.
The sheer need that some individuals have – just to comment or give their “opinion” on matters or situations that you are facing – is just baffling! And as a first time mom with a long line of gossipers following my hindside, I often have to deal with well intentions that are not solicited. My usual method in dealing with these “opinions” that start with “in meiner Meinung” is take a deep breath, count till ten, smile – and then reply politely. Cause there is no point in responding out of frustration, no point in giving energy to people who don’t know how to mind-their-own-business.
So smile – new mommies. Smile, keep that crown straight on your head, keep that head held high, thank the “well wishers” for their opinions on how to raise your child. Then perhaps stop talking to them about your baby, change the topic of conversation – ask them how they are doing? If you really really want to drag the conversation despite immense irritation cause you have pleasure seeing others make a fool of themselves… Ask for more information and explain your situation further.
Finally, not many realise that as a new mother you are going through a lot. So having a person to simply vent about some of your issues is a luxury – if, especially they aren’t toxic, aren’t stressing you out, or full of unsolicited advice to start with. You don’t want stress. As your life has changed for the best since the day you decided to keep your little nugget. And the majority of your single female friends are more likely to not understand you anymore. Also… Brace yourself if you are almost a decade older than your partner cause gossips and gossip-mongers will flood your surroundings. You don’t come out looking good here anyway cause their intention isn’t to make you look good. Through it all – remember this: what you have (your little baby and perhaps if you aren’t a single mom – then your loving partner) is something that many wish for and only few can get. So have some sympathy reserved for these “well intentions”. Sometimes even the unsolicited advice is often from a good place (even if at the moment you just want to ask the person to shut up).
P.s. if you enjoy my content, keep it fuelled, as I will think of you when you buy me a coffee.
One thought on “Mommy Diaries: Unsolicited Advice”
Sorry to hear! Hopefully it will get better soon