Day 25: Le Sigh! – The Single Woman’s Diary

Let’s talk serious.

The reason why I stopped dating or expecting anything out of a date is this: single men, my age, are fucked up. Period.

I’ve noticed that men in their twenties have a drive to be in a relationship and most men getting into a long term relationship in their twenties want it to work on long term basis. Well most men. Not all. You see, men in their mid/late-20s are in Prince-Charing stage, ready to settle down with their Princess and start an empire-building-phase of life. The King-phase.

King-phase/empire-building-phase of life is the phase where they either succeed and keep their wits about themselves and hence carry on having a fulfilling life with success, family, stability – or fuck around and mess it all up (as was the case with my ex husband: failed his diplomatic exams as he was too focused on exploring young women in their 20s behind my back) and go back to a perpetual state of being Prince-Charming.

As for those men who never had that drive to settle down in their 20’s, they don’t develop it at mid 30s. In exceptional cases – rare and exceptional cases – some Prince-Charming decided to work on building themselves and reserve late 30s to settle down, but they don’t go for women their age – they go for women decade or so younger. When it comes to men, even the half-decent ones are scooped off by the time they reach 33. What is remaining is really the stuff you don’t want to waste your time with if you are looking for something serious. Cause the residue is toxic waste.

This got further confirmed at an impromptu date, I went on, last night. Charming man. Really nice and kind, but doesn’t fancy kids, nor does he want to settle down.

So while dating, I come across this age dilemma. What I want – I see that men between 25 till 33 want the same. But I am in my mid 30’s (considered old), and most men like dating young. Not old. I might look 26, but I’m still a decade older. I might even have wrinkle free skin till 60 like my mom and aunts and all my family, still I am on a ticking biological clock that wants kids by 40. It takes a gutsy, stubborn, confident, and mature late-20/yearly-30 year old man to actually “man-up” to that. Rare. So rare, that I stopped dating.

But they are there, in some other continent perhaps – as I did come across a forum question passed on to me by my highly concerned and well settled middle-school friend: “I’m 27 and in love with a 45 year old woman, she feels it will not last because all men she knows choose to pursue younger women. What can I do?” Buddy, you’re a rare commodity – and she is having a hard time believing that you are real. ‘Cause for too long she has seen the opposite.

Le Sigh!