Day 12: He’s Just Not That Into You – The Single Woman’s Diary

I keep on talking about the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” (by the way, the book is way better). But I never shared any of my reasons why I find it absolutely formidable and a must watch for women. And if not watch, definitely read. This book is truly God-sent, and somehow makes life easier for the day dreaming type of heterosexual women, believing in Disney and fairytales of happily-ever-afters and are definitely trying to get past the crappy pick-up and get-out lines men/fuck-boys/pick-up-artists use.

The movie shows how women in their 30s try to navigate their way through complexities of modern relationships, and this movie/book is anything but a heart-tugging romance.

He’s Just Not That Into You” has become a mantra for me. Every-time I come across the hot/cold type of signal from men, and I’m left second guessing where I stand: “He’s Just Not That Into You”. If we went out on a date and he hasn’t texted me since, within the next 24hrs, I just archive the chat. Cause? “He’s Just Not That Into You”!

Such a reality check those six words truly are!

While the movie/book comes with an added honesty that makes us think – particularly “naive” heterosexual idiots like, I. There’s no denying, most of the time single women fall prey to their own imaginations – thinking that there is something between that flirty dude and herself – a spark maybe – which is just such a lie. That idea of spark was meant to keep women waiting on the sidelines, pining over a person who perhaps doesn’t give two hoots!

Spark, she thinks, when in reality perhaps the date couldn’t stop thinking about the girl he fucked the night before and couldn’t wait to get back to her! That’s real. Hard truth, but that’s how most men function. And so, when you are all over the place for this guy you totally liked and he is acting like a jerk – somehow you tend to believe that “oh he’s probably taking time”; ‘cause you think being a jerk means he is into you. No. That’s a lie your brain keeps telling you. In reality? “We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.” But, “if a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. No exceptions… If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule… We’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.

That’s what the movie/book is about. Hard truth. He’s Just Not That Into You. Six words that has changed me and my life forever.

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